Morning Sickness

I am just sick of it. I swear I just want to cry everyday, all day. I am so sick. I can't keep anything down and I feel like absolute shit. I am tired and just want to sleep all day. But, unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. I have a full time job that I must go to if I want to pay my mortgage. It just sucks feeling this way. I feel like all day I have to way whether I need to start running to the bathroom and pray that I make it in time. Plus, I most people at work don't know so I just pray that when I do hit the bathroom that I am alone. So far so good. Good part though is the flu is going around at work and they might just think I got it.

I have contemplated when I should announce the pregnancy. After I told my boss, I honestly was okay with whoever knew. However, yesterday I found out so pretty scary news. Another girl at work was prego (about 1.5 weeks before me) and she lost the baby. It isn't even me and I wanted to start crying. I pulled my boss aside and triple checked that he wouldn't say anything about my baby bump during our company meeting because I knew it would be devastating. He didn't obviously and I am so glad I made sure to confirm it with him.

Losing the baby is of course my worst fear. I felt okay for one morning/afternoon and I started freaking out thinking that maybe I was feeling better because I too wasn't prego anymore. I honestly just can't think like that. If it happens, it happens but I can just hope for the best that my baby is okay. I really feel for what my coworker has to go through and I'm sure that it can't be easy.

I hope this morning sickness doesn't last much longer. I truly hate it (who doesn't?). I'm really looking forward to August 30th so I can hear the baby's heartbeat again. I pray that everything is alright in there.