Eight Weeks

I was actually 8 weeks on Saturday.

Feeling: Terrible, miserable, nauseated. I throw up about everyday. My worst enemy is stairs - I seriously get so sick every time I walk up the stairs.

Weight: I'm down about 4-5 lbs. Most likely...its from the lack of eating and throwing up constantly.

I feel so sick I seriously just can't write anymore. This feeling sucks.

Talking and Peeing.

Addison has developed quite the vocabulary. She LOVES to repeat anything and everything you say. So far, though, no bad words. I don't know how that is possible since I can cuss like a sailor, but so far, so good. I was afraid early on that she wasn't talking as much as I thought she should be, but that for sure turned around. It is amazing at all the things she does say. She also knows pretty much every body part, five animals and their sounds, and we are working on colors and the numbers 1-5. My grandma watches her 2-3 times a week and during at least 2 of those times, they have "school time." My grandma will practice either the ABCs, numbers or colors with her. Am I lucky or what?

We also just got her the first DVD of Your Baby Can Read. I have been eying the infomercial since she was born and I would watch it at her 2 AM feeding. When I looked at the price, I was shocked...over $200. At the time, it just didn't work in our budget. Well, this weekend, I was grocery shopping at Wal-mart and since Wal-mart carries EVERYTHING, they just so happened to have it. You could buy it in individual volumes or 3 volumes for $69. Since I wasn't sure how Addison would take it, I thought I would only invest the $25 for one volume right now. I was surprised at how fast the DVD moves. The words are shown very fast - even fast for me and I know the words. But, it seems to keep her interest and she follows along for most of the movie. She actually gets very excited when she watches it and it always smiling at the other kids or laughing at what they are asking her to do. Some of the words are: clap, hi, baby, dog, cat, elephant, arms, arms up, mouth, nose, etc. So nothing too difficult and a good start to some words. The DVD is only about 15-20 minutes long which is good. I plan on having her watch it at least once a day and I don't want to move onto the next volume until we have mastered this one first.

Another new development in our house is the potty. Addison has peed on the potty 3 times now. In addition, we have spent many more hours sitting on the potty with no action. The other night we sat on the potty for over 20 minutes talking and playing but nothing. She even screamed for Donnie to come into the bathroom and sit down with us (I was sitting on the floor next to her). Sometimes, I think she just wants to sit on the potty because she loves to be naked.

Naked - my kid loves to be naked. Her new thing is to take her clothes off during nap time including her diaper. We go into her room to either check on her or get her up and she is butt naked. Surprisingly though, after she takes her diaper off, she never pees in her bed. This just further explains how ready she is to potty train. Sometimes she just insists on not wearing a diaper. It kills me too because I know she wants panties on but I can't risk her peeing her panties when we are out in public. It would just be a mess.

Panties - I need to have a talk with these manufacturers....not every kid that is ready for panties wears a size 2T. My kid is still in 12 months but we have searched and searched and searched for panties and the smallest size we could find is 2T. My kid weighs 21 lbs even and most of these panties start around 28 lbs. At her rate, she won't be reaching 28 until well after she is 2. I'm going to have to get creative with a needle and thread to sew these panties smaller. If not, she will be severely sagging.

Weight - as I said before, she weighs a whopping 21 lbs...hooray! The doctor said even though she is on the growth chart around the 2 percentile, she looks great. We only need her to gain 4 lbs between her first and second birthday and we are already half way there. Finding clothes to fit her is sometimes a challenge though. Any shorts that I buy her are usually 9 months and we still have to wear a belt because they are too big. Length is our only problem. She is such a peanut!

All-in-all, she is progressing great. I really couldn't ask for a better kid. We may have our moments and melt downs from time-to-time, but she really is a great kid. She is so smart and getting smarter everyday. I can't wait to see what comes next. I thought I missed her newborn and baby stage...but this is WAY better.

Morning Sickness

I am just sick of it. I swear I just want to cry everyday, all day. I am so sick. I can't keep anything down and I feel like absolute shit. I am tired and just want to sleep all day. But, unfortunately, I don't have that luxury. I have a full time job that I must go to if I want to pay my mortgage. It just sucks feeling this way. I feel like all day I have to way whether I need to start running to the bathroom and pray that I make it in time. Plus, I most people at work don't know so I just pray that when I do hit the bathroom that I am alone. So far so good. Good part though is the flu is going around at work and they might just think I got it.

I have contemplated when I should announce the pregnancy. After I told my boss, I honestly was okay with whoever knew. However, yesterday I found out so pretty scary news. Another girl at work was prego (about 1.5 weeks before me) and she lost the baby. It isn't even me and I wanted to start crying. I pulled my boss aside and triple checked that he wouldn't say anything about my baby bump during our company meeting because I knew it would be devastating. He didn't obviously and I am so glad I made sure to confirm it with him.

Losing the baby is of course my worst fear. I felt okay for one morning/afternoon and I started freaking out thinking that maybe I was feeling better because I too wasn't prego anymore. I honestly just can't think like that. If it happens, it happens but I can just hope for the best that my baby is okay. I really feel for what my coworker has to go through and I'm sure that it can't be easy.

I hope this morning sickness doesn't last much longer. I truly hate it (who doesn't?). I'm really looking forward to August 30th so I can hear the baby's heartbeat again. I pray that everything is alright in there.

18 Months Already

It is going by so fast. I can't believe my baby is already 18 months old. Geez, where does the time go? She is becoming so unbelievably independent. She thinks she can do everything on her own. 18 months old and still only 4 teeth. Her vocabulary is developing rapidly. She talks so much now. She knows alot of one our answers or questions. She is learning manners and says please and thank you most of the time. Please really doesn't sound like please...it is more of puhees. But she gets the jist of it.

She has peed on the potty twice now which is super exciting! My mom has looked for panties and training panties for her but they only come in size 2T and up. This kid is barely in 12 month clothes. There is no way size 2T panties are going to fit her. She goes to the doctor on Monday but I think she is around 21 lbs. She is such a tiny peanut. We took her dress shopping last night and I immediately knew the 12 month dress was way to big. It is weird to think my 18 month old still fits into 9 month clothes!

Besides being skinny and barely any teeth :) she is doing wonderfully. We have only had to do time out a couple of times but it really does work. You can see an instance switch in her attitude. We will see how long it lasts for. Besides that, she is a thriving, happy-go-lucky 18 month old. We have pictures tonight at JcPenney and I really hope they go well. Last time, she refused to smile. It took my dad having a stuffed animal hanging out of his mouth and jumping around like a monkey to even get a smirk from her. Seriously, if I could have tapped my Dad and the way he was acting, we would all be dying laughing.

Happy 18 months Addison! You are truly the light of my life and I love you more than the air I breathe.

My Baby Speck

So I went to the doctor yesterday. I am so happy too. I really didn't want to wait until August 30th to make sure the baby was okay. Since I had been spotting, I called the nurse to find out how much spotting is too much? She told me to come in and have the doc check. Perfect...however, I was already at work and really didn't think that I would have to go to the doc today. So of course, there wasn't much "prepping" done. I mean the shaving and trimming of all seen areas. Thankfully I took a shower before work but honestly, I had been so sick and really tired the past week that I didn't even give my legs a second look! Opps.

Hairy legs in all - I went to the doc. I took the first available appt right in the middle of work but I didn't care. I was poked and pradded EVERYWHERE. I got a vaginal exam, blood work, vaginal ultrasound and another urinalysis. He said he didn't see anymore bleeding which is fantastic. My first urinalysis from Friday still wasn't back but he still gave me a prescription which I am so thankful for. I seriously don't know how much more I could take of this urinary tract infection. It has gotten so bad that it hurts to sit on my office chair.

Next up was the ultrasound. He said if my dates were correct, we might not be able to see the baby because it would be too early. Inside, I was praying it wasn't too early! I wanted to see that baby so bad. When the test started, he kept looking and looking and looking. Nothing. And he kept saying "Maybe it is too early..." "I guess it is too early." Then silence and I heard "Well maybe it isn't too early." Yeah!!!! I looked over at my mom and said "Do you see it?" I didn't even need an answer because she already had tears. The doc asked if I could see the monitor which I couldn't, so he turned it more towards me. Right in the middle of the screen was a black empty space and a very very blurry speck. Yup...that was my baby.

Even though it was just a speck - and trust me it was very very small - I still was over the moon. The doc said it wasn't bigger than a grain of rice. Geez that is small. And to top it off - we were able to hear the heartbeat. How is that possible? Something no bigger than a grain of rice and you can still hear the heartbeat! Geez that is amazing.

Of course we aren't out of the woods yet. There is always a possibility of miscarriage. I have to take it easy, no heavy lifting, or straining and I need to take all my meds to kick this infection. All-in-all, it was a very successful doctor's visit. I'm getting more and more excited. I just am still shocked at the fact that we are having another baby. I really can't believe it. Ready or not - we are having a baby. Due date is April 2nd but I'll probably be scheduled for a C-Section before then - maybe the end of March.

The next thing I am looking forward to is October 18th - we get to find out the sex!

Not a very good weekend...

It wasn't. It really wasn't. Yesterday, I felt like complete shit. I really don't know how I survived the day and home alone with Addison to top it off. I'm just drained and literally didn't even have the energy to get off the couch. I am totally not like that...ever. When I am home with Addison, I am an hands on Mom. I don't just lay on the couch and watch TV. I am always up doing something with her or out running errands. Well not yesterday. I honestly could barely sit and feed her lunch I was so exhausted. I hate this feeling. I hate this feeling. I hate this feeling.

To top off my feeling bad, I was spotting on Saturday night/Sunday morning. I know this has added to my exhaustion because now I feel tired with a side of nervousness. I will be calling the doctor this morning to talk about this and see if they got my test results in from my urinalysis on Friday. I think I have a urinary tract infection which I think could lead to the spotting. Hopefully, I can get some answers. If not, I don't go to the doctor until August 30th.

Did I mention I hate this feeling? I hate the first trimester of a pregnancy so much. I just need to get through these next few weeks and then hopefully, I can be back to my somewhat normal self. Damn.

Did September Come a Lil Early?

For me...yes. Yes it did. I set out to start trying to get pregnant no earlier than September. And possibly later than that. I kept telling myself that it would take us a long time to get prego just like last time.

Needless to say....well, it didn't. That's right....I'm pregnant.

I am shocked, nervous, upset, nauseated and excited all at once. I don't think it has officially "hit me yet." My period was severely late and I kept thinking "No, I can't be pregnant." I have been waiting and waiting for my period to start so that I could start the HCG diet. The diet I have been looking so forward to! Well, not anymore.

When I woke up yesterday, I decided I would take a test just to "see" and make sure I wasn't prego. My thought was that before I would take a test and BAM my period would start. I took the test and waited about 30 seconds. When I turned back to look at the test, I was beyond shocked. The second line was faint but it was there. I kept saying out loud "No way!" I ran into the bedroom to wake Donnie up and show him my discovery. By this time, I kept thinking to myself "this had to be a mistake." After a couple of minutes passed, the line was very visible and it was official...the test was positive. All I could think about was how I wasn't going to be able to do the HCG diet and how I wouldn't be able to lose weight before the baby was due....bummer.

Later on in the day, I took another test (this time with another brand) and it was positive immediately. The little blue + sign couldn't have been any clearer. I was so excited that I had to tell someone...even though Donnie and I vowed to not tell anyone until we told our family. So I told Claudia at work and she, of course, was really excited.

Later on, we got to tell all of our family members and they too were very excited. I still don't know what to feel. Of course, I am excited but nervous. I am nervous about the timing and the fact that I have no idea when I am due or when this could have happened. I had a period in June but it was weird. It lasted for a day and a half and then nothing. It stopped cold turkey and never came back. And it was very light. The only time I can think of that we could have possibly conceived a baby was almost two months ago. So again, I have no idea.

I went to the doc's office today to take a urinalysis. I also think I am getting a urinary tract infection which is just awesome. I had two when I was prego with Addison and they suck! The paper didn't say it but I hope they also check if I am pregnant too. I would think so but honestly, I'm not sure.

Well, ready or not...it is here. I'm going to embrace it and celebrate it. I think I would feel ten times better if I had a doc appt soon and could confirm that I am pregnant. However, I don't go to the doc until August 30th. So, until then, I'll be battling with constant urination and nausea. Oh joy. But on the bright side, I'm cooking a very pretty baby in there.

All-in-all, it is worth every second. I can't believe I am going to have a baby!