13.5 Weeks and Counting

Yea....Second Trimester! Hopefully this means the morning sickness, nausea and vomiting are over, right? Well, I'm not getting my hopes up just quite yet. I start to feel better and then it hits me all over again. I feel I am in a way better place to do this....even with the occasional throwing up fit, I feel way better than I did 3-4 weeks ago.

I went to the doc yesterday. It is always nerve racking the first few trips to the doctor. I am always concerned that since I can't feel the baby move yet that I had a miscarriage or something is wrong. I just feel like I am on pins and needles until I can hear that heartbeat. It is just music to my ears.

My doc appt was at 3:35. At 4:55, they took us back to the room. The whole time I am thinking "Wow...that was fast. We just might get out of here in good time today." Well...nope. We sat back in the room for over an hour! I was getting a little restless and I know Donnie was too. When the doc came in he acknowledged that we had been waiting a long time to see him. (yes we did!). We said, "Well good news then...it just might be too early for this thing (and he held up the doppler machine) so lets put you on the ultrasound machine!" I was so excited and felt like all the waiting was WELL WORTH IT! Now we get the see the baby which is way better than just hearing the heartbeat.

Baby looked really good. My doctor is always great because he takes the time to point out everything you can make out on the ultrasound machine...eye socket, brain, fist, fingers, thigh bone, arm, foot. It was great. And we got so excited just seeing an arm move. No sign of a gender yet....but we go to the special ultrasound place in a week and a half. I pray that we can find out then! Fingers crossed...

All-in-all, it was a very very successful doctor trip. I got a little bad news at the end...I can't lift Addison for 4-6 weeks after my C-Section. So how the hell am I going to get her out of her crib in the AM and back in there for naptime all by myself. Glad I found this out now...because I need to do some planning.

Sick of being Sick

I think I hit rock bottom over the long weekend. I seriously was sick every day throwing up. I lost over 5 lbs in 3 days.

I hit my breaking point last night. It was about 11 PM and I got up to brush my teeth. I suddenly felt so sick and starting throwing up real bad. After this finished, I was so upset. I am just so frustrated at being sick and feeling like I have no energy to pick myself off the couch to do anything. I started crying...hysterically. I was feeling so sorry for myself and what I was going through. Its not like I'm the only one that has ever had morning sickness, but I just feel like it is never going to end. Then, I feel like saying the words..."I don't want to do this anymore." But I don't because I know this will pass.

I think what I struggle with is that I wasn't ready to get pregnant. I didn't prepare myself for what I would be feeling and it kinda happened suddenly for me. I've been sick for over 5 weeks now and I'm just over it. I'm over the nausea and throwing up and lack of energy. I want to just hide in my house and sleep all day.

And to top it off...my vacation starts in 4 days. If I have another repeat weekend this weekend, I will be so upset. I am just praying all goes well and we have a great time. Me being sick all the time will just ruin it.